“One of them told me that you cannot breathe right before an explosion.”
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Cheeks inflated. Eyes open before the mirror.
She held her breath.
Then she exhaled quickly – baah –, fogging the mirror.
Again, she inflated her cheeks, holding her breath before the clearing mirror.
Eyes open, looking right and left.
Then she exhaled once more – baah –, fogging the mirror.
A third time, inhaling, cheeks painfully inflated.
Eyes open.
In an instant, all the air came out – baah …
–– The mirror shook and the noise was deafening.
1
The car, dented and smoking, burned; it was incinerating smoothly to the gentleness of its steely tink – tink – tink.
The flames grew while the air blackened over the car’s white-hot chassis; while benzene dripped in a gleaming brown zigzag onto the gray asphalt dust; while red and white sirens echoed in countless arcs from the 32 balconies above; while the fat and emptying zero of an overfull cellular network settled deafeningly over the city; while countless screens burst to light in dimmed living rooms, showing talking faces, scrambling bodies, a vague cloud of rising smoke; while the burning car – now extinguished – was finally captured in the frame of a camera, the sound of its tink – tink – tink inaudible forever, limited now by the quick sound of talk – talk – talk.
Here, in this place, just minutes before, there was death, abruptly, decidedly.
baah –
2
Our man was parked down the street from where the explosion occurred.
The car’s rear windshield had shattered.
He stepped out of his own car––unharmed.
Urgency choked the things around him, but our man stood in his place, unmoving, the car door open behind him; he was staring at the exploded car, at its extinguished flames giving way to endless vertically rising smoke.
Beyond this our man blankly observed a traffic light, bent almost horizontally, switching lights, unheeded and unheeding.
Green. Red.
Green. Red.
Green … Then he looked inside his own car.
3
In the passenger seat there was a cage.
He saw cat paws poking through; he heard cat claws nervously scraping the plastic walls of the box; he felt that inside there was an entirely other kind of panic.
The box shivered with the thrusting weight of the animal––back and forth; unable to do anything at that moment, our man observed the box shake out its violence.
Then he looked at the street once more.
4
She was watching the television intently; unable to sit down, she remained standing where she was, watching the same stream of images recur endlessly.
From the top of the street, hurrying past a row of cars with shattered rear windows, past a group of dumpsters dented and thrown onto their sides, past burning trees and people calling out to each other, to the center of everything––the exploded car, dented and smoking.
She continued to stand in her place, hand sweating onto the remote control, unable to sit down, watching the same stream of images recur endlessly.
From the top of the street, hurrying: a row of cars with shattered rear windows; a group of dumpsters dented and thrown onto their sides; burning trees; people calling out; the exploded car, dented and smoking.
She tried to keep breathing steadily, she tried to not stop breathing even for a second; the effort tired her, she grew dizzy, she started to sweat more, she needed to sit down, but she didn’t; she remained standing where she was, watching the same stream of images recur endlessly.
From the top of the street, hurrying: a row of cars; a group of dumpsters; burning trees and people; the exploded car, dented and smoking.
From the top of the street:
––the exploded car,
––the exploded car,
––the exploded car, dented and smoking.
She sat down on the floor, breathing steadily.
5
Our man was standing nearer to the exploded car now; the smell of burning chemicals, melted rubber, incinerated paint, of dust falling continually, all filled his nostrils.
He looked up at a first-floor apartment, the aluminum balcony of which was twisted into a shape resembling a lower-case letter; its wilted frame stretched down onto the pavement like a hand from a deathbed.
The balcony furniture, blackened, blasted and bereaved.
Through shattered glass our man saw countless eyes.
––eyes below bleeding foreheads.
––eyes above straight and silent mouths.
Nothing but the sound of car doors: opening, closing, slamming, and opening again.
A symphony of doors.
Our man approached the exploded car.
6
From it was pulled a charred body, quickly covered with a sheet.
The single shiny leather shoe on the body was like a signature, hanging out from under the sheet––shoelace undone and the heel almost out.
Soldiers arrived in their trucks soon after: more doors opened; more doors closed.
The tape came up instantly, closing off the area immediately around the exploded car.
Our man was now near enough to touch it.
7
The charred body was being lifted into an ambulance.
Our man had seen this before––this same body being lifted into an ambulance.
The charred body finally lost its shoe. Our man hurried to the shoe, held it; hot and melted, the laces hung lightly over his wrist.
Our man had seen this before––
The ambulance doors slammed shut.
With the shoe in hand, our man watched it recede, up the street, around the corner.
Then soldiers, firefighters and journalists crowded into his view.
The ambulance was gone, even the sound of its siren evaporated.
Our man tried to recall their sound, but he could not.
The street was filled with officials.
The explosion finally occurred.
The cameras were rolling.
It occurred 10,000 more times before it stop occurring.
8
She turned off the television.
She turned it back on; then back off.
9
Our man stayed in his place, holding the shoe.
Gradually the firefighters left one by one; the ambulances – having collected the dead, the dying, the injured and the shocked – also left one by one; the soldiers dwindled; the onlookers looked but from further away; the debris was collected.
The cameras stopped rolling.
Our man stayed, pitifully holding the leather shoe in his hand while everything left him.
Then a man in a suit approached our man; he took the shoe from his hand.
The shoe was placed in a plastic bag.
Quickly, the exploded car was pushed off to the side of the road, surrounded with steel barriers and covered with a plastic tarp.
The smoke was gone.
Our man could not remember what the scene looked like a moment ago.
10
Walking back, the dumpsters were upright again, undented––the streets no longer covered in trash.
Walking back, the trees were no longer burned and singed, their leaves and flowers in place, pristine.
Walking back, the rear windows of all the cars were intact, transparent and clean; the cars no longer covered in dust and debris.
Walking back, he opened his car door and saw that the cat was dozing calmly in its cage.
Turning, with the car door still open behind him, the traffic light was vertical again.
Red. Green.
Red. Green.
Red … he climbed into the drivers seat.
Our man’s mind had become a complete blank; he had no thoughts to think.
He closed his eyes and rested his head.
Somehow, our man slept.
11
Cheeks inflated. Eyes open before the mirror.
She held her breath.
Then she exhaled quickly – baah –, fogging the mirror.
11
Our man awoke with a thought that was making him smile.
He reached over and stroked the cat through the cage.
It was still dozing.
11
Again, she inflated her cheeks …
11
Looking at the time, our man reached forward to turn the ignition.
11
–– The mirror shook and the noise was deafening
1
The car, dented and smoking, burned; it was incinerating smoothly to the gentleness of its steely tink – tink – tink.
idiotic investigations 